Earlier this year in March, I had an eye-opening experience of traveling with my 84-year old grandmother.
I decided over a year ago that I wanted to treat my grandmother for a trip, little did I know it would end up being much more than that for both she and myself. My grandmother has always been an adventurous person. When my mother was a kid they would all pile into their family station wagon and head out for road trips, sometimes camping along the way. My grandmother has always kept newspaper cutouts of interesting places on a corkboard in her room. I remember looking at them and saying to myself, “Why doesn’t she go?”
My grandmother has never been out of the country besides a trip to Vancouver many years ago. I decided that for her first trip I would choose a place where it wouldn’t take us too long to fly to. I thought of Havana, Cuba. I’d been wanting to explore the city and I knew it was a place of interest for her.
Here are a few things I learned during our trip, besides the lesson of patience.
What was supposed to be a group tour ended up being a private tour for our 4-night stay in Havana? I think that was a stroke of luck. It allowed for us, especially my grandmother, to go at our own pace.
Stop, allow them to catch their breath. Especially when switching climates it takes our bodies a bit of time to adjust, keep in mind that that adjustment may take a bit longer with an older traveler.
Although the breaks may seem annoying at first, it also allows yourself time to stop and look around a bit more & really take in what’s happening around you.
Factor in time for naps as well. Many naps will be needed, especially in warm climates with lots of walking built into the itinerary.
Direct Flights!!!
We took a connecting flight down to Havana, our tour operator asked that we come in on a specific flight. NEVER AGAIN. At least not with my grandmother. Walking through an airport with bags is not how any 80 years old should travel. This leads me to my next lesson & realization.
Even if they aren’t asking for help they probably need it. Like many people, my grandmother didn’t & don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I carried her bags through the airport, she swore up and down that it wasn’t necessary. I asked if she wanted a wheelchair, she declined. Our tour guide would hold her arm as we stepped off of a curb or our driver would hold out his hand to help her out of the car and she would say, “No, I’m fine!”. My grandmother is pretty independent because she’s always had to be. About mid-trip I realized that I had to take charge a bit and reassure her that it was okay to receive help from others.
By the end of our trip, I even got her into a wheelchair at the airport. Progress! Don’t baby your elders but, recognize when their pride is getting in the way of the help they need. Learn to strongly suggest when they should take help… in the nicest way possible.
You never know how the experience of traveling abroad will affect people. I arranged this trip with the intention of showing my grandmother what I’ve been doing for the past 10 years, to expose her to another culture in real-time rather than what she’s read in books. To feed the explorative spirit that I believe she’s always had. On our last day while looking out from our hotel room window she told me that she never thought she could do anything like this, she’d never thought of herself as a traveler. Total surprise to me, but the impact of those words really hit me.
Besides the lesson of patience, I think I learned that travel is transformative for any age group. That even though family can be difficult sometimes, sharing these kinds of experiences are worth it. I know how to plan things a bit better for our next trip, maybe Portugal…